What the heck just happened?

Suddenly, I find myself the mother of three children in school.  How exactly did that happen?

Sometimes these things happen when life just flows- opportunities come along that seem too good to pass up.  I had looked at the Montessori Kindergarten at a private preschool, that was originally going to be affiliated with the Charter school, in April.  I decided that it wouldn't be a good fit based on the teachers and Justin's learning style, which didn't seem to fit into their way of doing things.  So when the kids got into the lottery, I didn't bother to register.

Well, over the summer a few things happened with the Board of Directors and a new Principal/Director was hired as well as all of the teachers.  I know two people on the board and kept up with the goings-on at the school.  Everything seemed to be falling into place for the school so in August we decided to look at the school for Elle, because we felt she needed to be around more kids every day her own age, and because she needed some formal instruction in math.  We were falling further and further behind in the curriculum because it didn't fit her.

Fall in Florida

Here we are!  It's fall in Florida and we're still here.  Amazingly enough, Eric made it past his one year.  He's battered and bruised, but has won the admiration of one of the top chefs in the company, which means that the sky's the limit from here.  He's been talking about going to South Korea, but I don't think I am ready to take the international plunge just yet.  Marriott makes going overseas very attractive, with a nanny, driver, private school, insurance all paid for.  It's something we'd like to explore in the future. This summer was fun with weddings in New Orleans and Michigan.  It was good to be back in the Midwest and see family and friends in Iowa too.  Being in Iowa reminded us what down to Earth, do anything for you people are like, and we'd like to get back to that.  We're in the process of firming up which places we'd like to go to.

Life Lessons

So I have been taking this course, Soul Restoration, that I found through a friend in Iowa.  It has been amazingly life changing and has helped me see even more patterning that I need to change.  It really is amazing how many lessons I have learned since we moved to Florida.

The first and best lesson I learned from this course was about boundaries.  Setting them, honoring them, not allowing people to violate them, walk all over them, or destroy them.  What I didn't realize is that I have had permeable boundaries for as long as I have been living.  When you are young and your "no" statements are over-ridden, either by words or by force, you don't learn how to develop and keep boundaries.  Then when you get a bit older and have the language to say that you are being hurt and would appreciate it if the person would stop, and the person says that you are "too sensitive", that is a violation of your boundaries.  If you don't stand up for yourself again, the person thinks that it is ok to continue being abusive and will walk all over your boundaries as long as you let them do it.

Spring!

Has sprung!  I hope everyone is enjoying it.  Spring in Florida is beautiful!  Homeschooling is going well with Elle, we did learning profiles on the website after reading the book Discover Your Child's Learning Style, and that has helped tremendously.  It turns out that I am a print/auditory/producing (think workbook) learner and she is not.  She's a visual/picture/tactile learner.  So the curriculum that I was picking out for math wasn't meeting her needs at all, it was black and white and boring!  The unit study or literature approach she likes (we started Five In A Row in November), and I lucked out on the phonics workbooks because they are mostly picture learning.  She's also a relater, which means that she needs to talk things out to understand them, which was driving me crazy because she would constantly ask questions about what she was learning.  Turns out, she needs to talk it out to understand.  We went on a field trip to a composting place to learn about worm composting, and it was partly lecture and partly hands-on.  When I questioned her about the lecture, almost nothing had been absorbed except for the hands-on part of the lecture.  She doesn't learn that way, she is completely visual.  Art is her favorite subject and she started taking a homeschool enrichment art class on Thursdays which she loves.  

On Being Toxic

That's kind of a catchy title, and I'll get to it in a few.  What follows is probably going to be just a spewing of everything that is going on with us.  And it's not pretty.

First of all, the surest way to figure out what your flaws and weaknesses are is to invite your children to live with you, full time.  Homeschooling is so much fun and such an interesting way to learn, but it is something more.  All of my imperfections I now see reflected in my oldest child.  My worrying, my fretting over something new, my ability to take a situation apart piece by piece before it's ever experienced, she's reflecting back at me.  It's not a character trait I'm proud of.  And I didn't expect this, at all.  I didn't expect to have to deal with my SHIT, right now, before it ruins my child.

Wallowing

This was going to be a letter but is turning into a post...

Things have not been good.  I had been circling the drain a few weeks ago for several reasons.  One, first and foremost, my husband works too much.  People say they understand what it's like to have a husband who is never there, but they don't.  When he leaves before we wake up and misses dinner for five consecutive nights in a row, you really don't get it, do you?  No, you don't.  I am starting to be convinced that wives of chefs are either gluttons for punishment or were raised by single parents, so are assured that they can go it alone.  I think I fall into the latter group.  I had a wonderful role model in my mother so I know for sure I can do this alone, I just don't want to have to.

Kicking and Screaming

Well, maybe not that dramatic.  But it felt that way.  Leaving Iowa was one of the hardest things I have ever done, even though it didn't seem real until we did it.  The date was just there, a few months away, then a few weeks, then a week, and all of a sudden we were gone.  That's kind of how my life goes, with three kids I really don't have time to prepare for anything, life just comes at me.

So when we left, we drove down to New Orleans.  Through many, many states, including Illinois this time.  When I think Illinois, I think Chicago.  I didn't know that the majority of it is farmland.  Anyway, by the time we left Iowa I was on a real high, energy kick, and driving down to the South was like being sucked into the Pit of Despair.  That is the only way I can describe it, because there is a negative energy vortex around New Orleans (note I didn't say bad or wrong, it's just negative), which is the complete opposite of places like Iowa or Sedona, Arizona, or Portland, Oregon, or places you have heard of that have very positive energy.