I wanna go home!

Maybe it is the early cold weather. High of 41 today. We were in our skivvies in August. What gives? I am not looking forward to a cold Halloween.

I keep toying with the idea of moving back to NOLA. Sure we'd have to pay for school. Sure it would be mind numbingly hot. Sure it might be an aggravation to deal with drama again... but wouldn't it be better than living here, alone with no help, in the cold?

I feel like I am going through the five stages of grief. Maybe I am on the bargaining part now- if I sell off half of our stuff, we can afford a decent small house there, and maybe even be able to pay for school. But then I'd have to work. And deal with day care for Miles. And deal with whoever takes care of Justin and make sure they adhere to his diet to a tee.


He has come leaps and bounds since we have been here. His diet has been pretty strict, but not completely. He is talking better, acting better, the sensory stuff is gone, and he is completely functional at preschool. It is really amazing how well he is doing now.

Is it part of the American ideal to always think that there is something better on the horizon? To not be thankful and value what we have? That the grass is always greener? Because it usually isn't. Wherever you go, there you are, regardless.

I am having these pangs because I think I never got to say goodbye adequately. Had a baby, moved. Everything changed about our lives within months, and we really didn't realize how much having a third child changed EVERYTHING. But it really does. It's amazing.

So even though I would have more help with #3, I would still have to work to be able to afford school. And housing. And homeowners insurance.

I just wish someone, anyone, would have piped up and said that public school isn't all it's cracked up to be. Yes Elle is in an awesome school, but she is still a number. I never felt that way at school. But the price of that now is frightening.

Oh well. Live and learn, again.