Justin Updates

Oh Justin, Justin, Justin, he is a mess. Not only is he two but we still think he might be autistic. It is so strange- he did well after the tubes, but they were somewhat of a band-aid to help the fluid drain. We still haven't figured out what is making the fluid build up in the first place. If it is dairy, then that is a real problem. I know dairy is not the best source of calcium, but our flirtations with the casein free diet don't go well, and it delays his teeth coming in. His two year molars have been coming in since last year, seriously.

It's hard to say why I think he's autistic, but here's an excerpt from an email I sent to another mom, that might explain it...


I have been consulting with a homeopath in New Jersey. It is not the ideal situation because she can't see him but we are making some inroads into his behavioral issues anyway. She didn't believe me that I think he is autistic, because he's not full blown, but I reminded her that there is a whole spectrum and he certainly could fall on one end or the other. I think the other thing that confuses the picture is that he is already on the gluten free diet, and mostly cow's milk free, and when he does have those foods, the strange behaviors come out.

I think if I hear one more person say, "he's just two", I am going to scream! Yes there are qualities he has that are two year old frustrations, but there are also things that come out on a bad diet day that make me suspect autism, or some form at least. He still doesn't get the pointing thing at all- he's totally lost in that area. He's impulsive, not afraid of traffic at all, can be destructive if not closely watched, and very rigid in his routines. All of that could be two year old behavior, sure, but that doesn't explain why he is a totally different kid on his good diet days.

We were in Memphis with friends last week, and aside from being impossible and melting down every 20 minutes, it looked like he was hallucinating. That was after three days of being exposed to cow's milk in one form or another, and after drinking half a little carton of chocolate milk, that all the other kids were having. He was putting his face about an inch from the lamp posts while we were walking downtown, and studying them. He would get down near the plants and fixate on them, about an inch from his face. It was very strange, and I don't know what stimming is, but he melted down every time we tried to pry him away from his fascinating observations.

Anyway, the behaviors do come out when he has had dairy, particularly cow's milk. He was absolutely AWFUL in MO with the Retimans. His routine was messed up yes, but most toddlers get over that and play with their friends. Not him. He just kept having meltdowns, wanting to be held all the time, screaming at the top of his lungs for no good reason (like I cut the bread in half and he wanted it whole- which is not like him), and just being miserable. One of the hallmarks of autism is not being able to follow when someone points something out. On dairy days he can't do it. On good days he can.

It is so hard to describe what I see on a daily basis, because he is still developing and changing at a very fast pace. It is also hard for other people to understand who never see the behaviors. My in laws are just tickled that he plays by himself under the table when he is there. What they don't know is that can be a sign of autism, when he prefers not to interact with other people... it is still so hard to explain. Although they have seen some obvious signs like hitting himself in the head when he gets frustrated, after having dairy.

We took him to Mandeville High School's graduation a few weeks ago. His reaction was interesting. He was shy at first, burying his head in Eric's shirt. The lights and all the people clapping and yelling were a lot for him, maybe because of his ears, I'm not sure. Either way part of the way through he started screaming/shrieking every time the clapping would start. He got so frustrated I had Eric take him out of the arena because it was obvious he couldn't take it anymore. I don't know if that is his ears or what, but he was obviously overstimulated.

On the positive side, he is developing some obviously two year old traits. He's even talking in three word sentences, and saying "No, I'm NOT!". So the speech is getting better, but there are sounds he still doesn't fathom. (Like the G sound- he says "adee" instead of "again".) He didn't qualify for Early Steps because he could say more than 10 words at two. I really don't get that because most of the developmental charts will tell you that two year olds are supposed to have a 50 word vocabulary. I might have him re-evaluated or do outpatient speech therapy, just need to get approval from our pediatrician first.

He is also sleeping! This is a HUGE deal for us. He has had the worst insomnia up until a few months ago. I sort of night weaned him, at least from the 1-2 AM feeding, off and on. I think it is more my supply dropping due to the preg, but either way he is sleeping after two years of being up every 3-4 hours. I didn't realize how tired I was until he started sleeping all night. I was more tired once he started doing that because I was still waking up between 1 and 2 expecting him to nurse! But now we've adjusted and he sleeps from 10 to 6:45. I can't tell you how happy I am about that!!!

So I guess we are going to stick with a rotation diet, dairy on certain days, none on others. That way we don't all go nuts missing cheese, sour cream, yogurt, and milk. I certainly have a problem restricting it while pregnant! I have a problem restricting gluten too and have cheated a few times, but the behavior that comes out after that is not worth the risk. He is weepy and fussy, and just plain miserable after being exposed to gluten.

The homeopath has been interesting, I think it would help to see someone who could see and talk to him, but she asks a lot of good questions. We tried Sulphur first and it worked about three days. I called her from MO about his behavior issues thinking that it was the remedy, but from his behavior pattern, it seemed that it had stopped working a week earlier. So this week we are trying Lycopodium to see what happens. That's the thing about a remedy, you have to figure out if it works first and then figure out how often to repeat it.

Hopefully it will help with the food allergies, we'll see. If not Dr. Capone said it might take him until age 5 or 6 to grow out of the gluten allergy. I'm still convinced that Eric had food issues as a child since Ritalin didn't work on him. His mom said no he was just hyper, but he was crazy about carbs, and sugar. The way autism is defined today, he definitely would have fit into that category with some of the extreme ADD behaviors he had as a kid.

It's easy for me to look at her and say she just didn't discipline him enough, but now that I have a two year old with some of the same issues, discipline is not the problem. The problem is getting your child to figure out that running into the street can actually kill you, and that throwing things at other kids hurts, and that screaming whether it is to get what you want or not, is obnoxious! I remember Elle being trying as a two year old, and being exasperated. But Justin was a baby at the time, and I wasn't pregnant. Boy he aggravates me now- must be the hormones!

Well it might be obvious that I am a bit sleep deprived or brainless myself at the moment. I've been staying up to finish my projects at night, but taking a nap during the day isn't always the best way to catch up. So I better go to bed. I hope all is well with everyone drop me a line sometime!