Justin started walking on Monday when I was at Dr. Newman's talk at the conference, in the hotel bar of all places. But it is real walking, all over the place. I couldn't be more pleased!!! Now I just have to go back to the pediatrician and correct the records that say he started walking at 13 months- but that is a different story entirely.
Video soon to be posted on YouTube.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Friday, July 13, 2007
Something else to face
Let's face this one head on too-
When you are working, especially from home, or in a job where you bring your kids, you start to see them differently. No longer do their little games and little faces bring joy every time you see them. You start to think they are getting in the way of your work sometimes. And that is a horrible thing to admit, but it is true.
I could never figure my friend Jennifer out. She ran this consignment shop on Hilton Head when we lived there, and she was always complaining that Gabriel, who is 3 months older than Elle, would never let her work! She brought him to work but couldn't get much done. He wanted to nurse a lot and when she didn't pay attention, he would bite her! I just didn't get why she always complained and didn't just sit down now and then and pay attention to him.
Needless to say, now I get it. A lot of my job is talking on the phone, and that is usually a signal for the kids to start running around the house chasing each other, or yelling, or Elle trying to get the Tylenol bottle or homeopathic tablets open so she can "take more medicine". And it's not just for work that I talk on the phone. The same goes for La Leche League moms and doula clients. Sometimes I need quiet to help a mom out who is having a hard time, and those calls don't always come at nap time.
So that usually leads to parking them in front of Sesame Street. It is the only thing I let them watch during the day, and I TIVO it to have it available. It's not like they watch anything besides PBS...
So a few weeks ago I was reading the paper (a rare occurrence these days- I also still have 3 episodes of Gray's Anatomy to watch and that ended in what, April?), and the AAP is talking about how bad it is for kids to watch TV at all if they are under 2. Well great, I think. That was a perfectly acceptable thing for my first child. She didn't watch anything until about 18 months, wasn't interested. But guess what, when I was 33 weeks pregnant with Justin, I was put on bedrest. And I can only farm my kid out so many times before we just have to sit and watch TV. After that she wanted to watch Sesame Street every day.
How bad could it be, I thought? Well, bad. Because Justin learned at a very early age to watch TV. As soon as he could sit in the Bumbo Seat he wanted to sit next to her and watch. He is much more distractible and cannot concentrate on one task like she could at this age. Is it the TV's fault? Who knows.
The point is that guess what, AAP, the TV is part of all of our lives. Our family has gone in cycles, of a lot of TV, and very little. But you know what? If my MIL or another family member lived next door, I could just send the kids over there for the hour I need to get work done instead of parking them. But I don't have that luxury and I don't know many mothers who do. So guess what, until our society circles back to the village concept, tired parents are going to use the TV to get a break.
That's the way it is, folks.
When you are working, especially from home, or in a job where you bring your kids, you start to see them differently. No longer do their little games and little faces bring joy every time you see them. You start to think they are getting in the way of your work sometimes. And that is a horrible thing to admit, but it is true.
I could never figure my friend Jennifer out. She ran this consignment shop on Hilton Head when we lived there, and she was always complaining that Gabriel, who is 3 months older than Elle, would never let her work! She brought him to work but couldn't get much done. He wanted to nurse a lot and when she didn't pay attention, he would bite her! I just didn't get why she always complained and didn't just sit down now and then and pay attention to him.
Needless to say, now I get it. A lot of my job is talking on the phone, and that is usually a signal for the kids to start running around the house chasing each other, or yelling, or Elle trying to get the Tylenol bottle or homeopathic tablets open so she can "take more medicine". And it's not just for work that I talk on the phone. The same goes for La Leche League moms and doula clients. Sometimes I need quiet to help a mom out who is having a hard time, and those calls don't always come at nap time.
So that usually leads to parking them in front of Sesame Street. It is the only thing I let them watch during the day, and I TIVO it to have it available. It's not like they watch anything besides PBS...
So a few weeks ago I was reading the paper (a rare occurrence these days- I also still have 3 episodes of Gray's Anatomy to watch and that ended in what, April?), and the AAP is talking about how bad it is for kids to watch TV at all if they are under 2. Well great, I think. That was a perfectly acceptable thing for my first child. She didn't watch anything until about 18 months, wasn't interested. But guess what, when I was 33 weeks pregnant with Justin, I was put on bedrest. And I can only farm my kid out so many times before we just have to sit and watch TV. After that she wanted to watch Sesame Street every day.
How bad could it be, I thought? Well, bad. Because Justin learned at a very early age to watch TV. As soon as he could sit in the Bumbo Seat he wanted to sit next to her and watch. He is much more distractible and cannot concentrate on one task like she could at this age. Is it the TV's fault? Who knows.
The point is that guess what, AAP, the TV is part of all of our lives. Our family has gone in cycles, of a lot of TV, and very little. But you know what? If my MIL or another family member lived next door, I could just send the kids over there for the hour I need to get work done instead of parking them. But I don't have that luxury and I don't know many mothers who do. So guess what, until our society circles back to the village concept, tired parents are going to use the TV to get a break.
That's the way it is, folks.
Let's Face It
Working is hard on a mom. But what I didn't expect was that now that I am working, I don't get as much flak from my in-laws about asking for help with the kids. It was like when I was staying at home, the assumption was that I was "running the day care", and they shouldn't have to help unless I had a dental appointment or the like. Of course most of this came from my FIL, my MIL loves to take the kids any time.
It is really strange the way our society views staying at home. It's almost as if we say to moms, you are at home, so you don't deserve any time off from your kids. That's your job. There is even this whole gaggle of SAHMs on the internet who think that if you put your child in preschool or mother's day out, you are farming your child out to someone else and you should feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. Many of them call it "glorified day care". Well whatever. Every mom needs a break now and then. I know I did.
So back to this SAHM VS WAHM VS WOHM. I think in some ways working moms who go to a job have the most help, in our society. They have the support from family or other caregivers who help raise their child(ren). This goes back to the whole village raising a child concept. No woman is an island and shouldn't be expected to raise kids on her own. How much easier things would be if you had your mom or MIL next door to just take the baby when things got hairy or you just needed a colic break!
But that is the expectation now, that a SAHM needs to just suck it up and raise the kids all by herself. If she has help from her family, great. But many times I was afraid to ask for help b/c I kept getting the subtle message that I didn't deserve time off if this was my job now...
So anyway, working at home can be difficult too, because you do have deadlines, like payday was this Tuesday and I had to get everyone's time sheets in on time and make sure they were correct. This is at the same time that Justin is trying to destroy the office while I work.
The thing that just baffles me is this: I had two jobs before this one, or actually three. Raising two kids, La Leche League, and my Doula business. But none of those mattered to my FIL b/c none brought in a regular paycheck. But now that I have a job that brings in money, he is all for watching the kids any time I need them to. I get no more flak for asking for help. No more, well, you should bring Elle when Paige is here because we already are watching a kid.
It is so strange and a sad commentary on the way our society completely devalues mothering...
It is really strange the way our society views staying at home. It's almost as if we say to moms, you are at home, so you don't deserve any time off from your kids. That's your job. There is even this whole gaggle of SAHMs on the internet who think that if you put your child in preschool or mother's day out, you are farming your child out to someone else and you should feel guilty about taking time out for yourself. Many of them call it "glorified day care". Well whatever. Every mom needs a break now and then. I know I did.
So back to this SAHM VS WAHM VS WOHM. I think in some ways working moms who go to a job have the most help, in our society. They have the support from family or other caregivers who help raise their child(ren). This goes back to the whole village raising a child concept. No woman is an island and shouldn't be expected to raise kids on her own. How much easier things would be if you had your mom or MIL next door to just take the baby when things got hairy or you just needed a colic break!
But that is the expectation now, that a SAHM needs to just suck it up and raise the kids all by herself. If she has help from her family, great. But many times I was afraid to ask for help b/c I kept getting the subtle message that I didn't deserve time off if this was my job now...
So anyway, working at home can be difficult too, because you do have deadlines, like payday was this Tuesday and I had to get everyone's time sheets in on time and make sure they were correct. This is at the same time that Justin is trying to destroy the office while I work.
The thing that just baffles me is this: I had two jobs before this one, or actually three. Raising two kids, La Leche League, and my Doula business. But none of those mattered to my FIL b/c none brought in a regular paycheck. But now that I have a job that brings in money, he is all for watching the kids any time I need them to. I get no more flak for asking for help. No more, well, you should bring Elle when Paige is here because we already are watching a kid.
It is so strange and a sad commentary on the way our society completely devalues mothering...
A Typical Monday
0800- Cheryl Robichaux, the Breastfeeding Coordinator from Marrero, calls to find out if she is supposed to be doing referral forms yet. I say no, my Peer Counselors haven't been trained yet, but when they are she can start doing them. Right when she calls Elle decides she needs to go potty, and in the middle of the conversation she yells out, "MOMMY I POOPED!!!". Cheryl finds this mildly amusing. One of the perks of working from home...
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