Soul Lessons

There are quite a few unpublished posts on this blog from the last three years, posts that just sounded wrong, or inauthentic, or just plain whiny.  I would write them and look at them again later and want to just trash them, but I kept them.  I thought maybe they were part of my process.  In 2010 I started on the road to energy healing, Healing Touch and Reiki... and when you start pursuing the path you need to heal yourself first.

Each piece of life and writing and journaling is a little bit of clarity.  However it wasn't until after my father died almost 18 months ago that the pieces started to click into place.  Everything that I had ever been through started to make sense.  My whole life was like a jigsaw puzzle that started to come together into a clear picture.  Gluing the parts together seemed simple, as if my inner or higher self knew all along what it would all mean, and my conscious mind was just starting to get it.

When my father died, I pushed my grief down way, way below my feet, into the Earth.  I buried it so deeply that I would either never find it again or never have to touch it.  We were prepared for his death.  He was sick for years, his mental illness got the best of him, he had tried to end his life before, he didn't want to live past 65 when his disability ran out, and he wanted to leave money for his daughters.  The reasons went on and on, and they all made sense.